Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Is The Last of Us Part 2 really as woke as people say it is?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I actually pay taxes

Why do some children hate their parents?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What is the story of how you met your spouse?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Trump speech prompts concerns about politicization of military - NBC News

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

What is your review of The Office (U.S. TV series)?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

How can I navigate a romantic relationship as a trans person, and what are some common challenges that I might face?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Is heroin really as good as people say it is?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I see through liars

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What are some best sources of great porn?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t buy bullshit

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Do you think the beginning of movies is often better than the rest of the film? Is this a common opinion or do others share this view?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What should I do? I'm 17 and I'm dating a 23-year-old guy.

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Is dating in college necessary? Why and why not?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can count

I understand how hurricane paths work

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can read

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is